Many of my friends have asked me if and why I was moving away from my jewelry boutique after reading my post about being In The Valley and seeing the updates to my Facebook page. I never intended to turn this into a post and honestly never considered that anyone might care. But the more I've thought about how to answer that question, the more that I have decided that it might be a message everyone could benefit from.
When I was as young as 6 I knew in my heart of hearts that I wanted to be a fashion designer. Fast forward to my first college sewing class when I finished sewing AND surging a button up shirt only to realize I had sewn the panel with the darts in backwards and had to remove all of that stitching... that was when I decided maybe I would be better at owning a boutique than sewing clothing. I graduated and did the responsible thing. I got a steady job so that I could start saving and eventually make that dream come true. After several years I had kind of let that dream go until my husband encouraged me to start something on the side just for fun. We started small with what we could invest. Jewelry was the most affordable entry point and we worked hard to create a website, a logo and get some product in stock. I love clothes and jewelry and I love how affordable jewelry is for your typical young women who is trying to be financially responsible in so many other aspects, but still wants to be in style. I enjoyed styling the pictures and modeling the earrings and sharing that outlet of positivity and humor with friends.
In September of 2021 we made the hauntingly difficult decision to put our dog Julie down when her cancer got so bad it was causing her pain. In February of 2022 my grandparents both passed within days of each other. In July of 2022 my uncle passed. In August of 2022 a childhood and lifelong friend lost a battle with cancer at the age of 32. The same weekend we remembered her life, we also remembered the life of a dear neighbor who had been a constant in my life on Cedar Break Trail. We had another loss in the family as well which isn't really mine to share, but suffice it to say it was hard. I don't mean to keep saying all of this for sympathy, but to let you know how my heart and mind have been beaten up over the last year causing me somewhat radically to mature and change my perspective on life.
When you're young you think you are invincible. When you are 32, you may have seen some tragic things in life but deep down you still feel pretty invincible. Until the worst happens to someone you are close to. Until you experience moments like I shared above. Then you realize just how truly delicate life is.
Despite the sadness I experienced in 2022, my husband and I also had several opportunities to travel due to various work conferences, family invitations and celebrations of life. We went to Las Vegas, Minnesota, Colorado, Montana and California. Now, I want to paint a picture for you (it should be easy to visualize. The actual pictures are above). Matt and I are standing on the Santa Monica Pier in September. Our first stop in California after picking up our rental car in L.A. The sky is blue and barely a cloud in the sky. The sun is warm on your skin but the breeze and low humidity make for a perfect day. The sand is glistening white and the water is the bluest blue. Waves are crashing and the most perfect California vacation anthem is playing over a speaker. We are getting ice cream after playing in the amusement park riding the Ferris Wheel and a roller coaster that was probably made for kids. I had laughed, like really laughed, for possibly the first time that year. I was happy. Everyone around was happy. There were flags hanging from the light poles with a graphic of someone dancing that said, "Good vibes start here." and I thought to myself, "THIS is life." See, I'm a very task oriented person. I like planners. I like routines. And I like resting when the work is done. These certainly aren't bad traits. But standing on that pier I started thinking about my life and how short it will be. Even if I live to a ripe old age, it will feel too short to someone around me like my Grandparents felt to me. I thought of the time I've spent googling and Pinteresting what fashion topics I could write about. And then... I shrugged and moved on, HAHA. But I kept thinking about it and over time I realized there is no amount of money I can make nor amount of time I could invest into my jewelry business that will be worth it If I died tomorrow. And this is the part that I want you to hear because it's the part I needed to hear.
Life can be so much more than we allow it to be, but we have to be present for it. We can't be present for it if we are constantly chasing a buck. We can't be present for it if we are constantly head down in our phones. We can't be present for it if we are constantly plugged into our computers.
I respect that sometimes you have to put in some work on the front end for freedom on the backend. I respect that it costs money to live comfortably in this world. And I respect that a passion within you will drive you crazy if it isn't fulfilled. But if I died tomorrow- it won't matter what earrings I was wearing. It won't matter if I was able to post a blog on how to create a bracelet stack. What will matter is if my priorities were in check and I actually WAS the kind of person I "intended" to be. Because I intend to be a good wife. I intend to be a good friend. I intend to be a good daughter, sister, etc. I intend to be kind to others. I intend to help others. I intend to do a lot of things, but what if things and responsibilities get in my way? Even when good? After 2022, after remembering the lives of so many, what I decided matters is who I actually am and what I leave you with, not who I intend to be. What will matter is if I made a positive impact and impression in your life. Yes, you! My husband. My family. My friends. My coworkers. My clients. And you.
I do love to write. Writing helps me process. I wrote the post about being in the valley because I was in the valley and I needed help pulling myself out the other side. I read and re-read and thought about it for so long before sharing. I think the most popular of any of my fashion blogs had 11 views. My post about being in the valley currently has 116 views and is growing. And that is why I am pivoting. I want my life to be so much more. I want your life to be so much more. I respect seasons of busy and I respect that we can't all be all the things the gurus, experts and self-made millionaires tell us to be. I respect hard work and trying to better your life. But I also respect that every now and then our spirit whispers to us to slow down and we only need to listen to that reminder to help us re-center.
I'm not laying down accessories for good. In fact, I'm not even sure I'm quitting cold turkey. I'm still deciding. I've made some pretty great friendships through my jewelry business and reconnected with old friends. I've shared positivity and played in jewelry. All things I love and enjoy and there is certainly a time and place for a little frivolity in life. I've really analyzed the amount of time I put into my shop. Running the jewelry part hasn't been all that challenging, but the pictures for social media and the blog topics has been a pain from time to time . So, now I'm figuring out if and how I can do both. But I know it starts with saying and prioritizing what truly matters and that just isn't fashion tips for me anymore. I will continue shopping and playing in clothes and jewelry and probably talking about it from time to time through this outlet. That is still very much a part of me. I've just decided that if I am going to take any time out of my day to put anything out there into the universe then I hope that it will encourage, uplift, and remind the readers of what really matters. And I'm not sure if jewelry is a part of that right now. I've got messages like this one I'm sharing today that have been on my heart to share and I've decided that If it helps or encourages just one person, then it is worth it to put it out there. So I'm going to be focusing on that for a bit and I hope you will enjoy.
Happy good day,
Monica
A perfect California Vacation anthem--- > https://open.spotify.com/track/2MLHyLy5z5l5YRp7momlgw?si=8b4b4e3d5c1c4b79
A phone screen to keep you positive -->
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